In my last post, I wrote about realizing how jealous I felt when looking at Facebook sometimes. Despite all my deep-seated rationalism, I noticed I was having a lot of negative vibes when seeing what everyone was up to. We had a disappointing Halloween, and the next morning I was almost angry at how much fun it looked like everyone else had had.
I work from home most of the time, so I’m spending a lot more time by myself than I am accustomed. I think I started relying on Facebook more to keep up with everyone, and to take breaks during the day. I can’t just turn to the person at the desk next to me or walk over to my friend’s cube anymore. So instead I was logging onto Facebook a LOT more than normal, thus I spent a lot more time comparing myself to everyone else. And yes, I totally know we’re all curating our social media lives. No one is posting about their routine and dull Tuesday afternoon any more than I am. We’re all on there to brag a little, to show the best/most fun/cutest version of ourselves.
My first step was to remove the Facebook app from my phone. It’s crazy how often I picked up my phone in a moment of boredom or downtime, waiting in a line or annoyed with what my husband was watching on TV, to go check FB. Totally a thoughtless habit. Now I’m checking Instagram, which generally doesn’t give me the same jealous feelings, or playing a game, or opening up the Kindle app to read a book for awhile. I went from Tuesday til Sunday without checking FB on my phone. Then, on Sunday morning, I logged and immediately started feeling jealous and lame. Exit Facebook!
This week, I’ve checked in a couple of times, but only given myself a couple of minutes to read posts. And it’s making a difference. I hate to admit that I’m so shallow, but sometimes I am. Even now, when I’m happy with my job and love my house and my marriage is going well and it’s almost the holidays – I’m still envious of what other people have. Ew.