May has been a strange month. I feel like I blinked and now it’s almost June. It hasn’t been a good month for motivation. I’ve been trying to figure out why. Looking back on the month, really nothing has been in control. Since my half-marathon last month, I haven’t been into running. Part burn out, part fatigue, part not having a goal. I haven’t been good about spending money. I’ve barely written here. And I certainly haven’t had much discipline with eating and drinking.
The month started with me getting back from Portland. Then we started condo hunting in earnest. We had our anniversary trip in the middle of the month. Then my mother got sick and I spent a lot of time caring for her and not being home. Then it was Memorial Day weekend. And then we spent the better part of a week getting our house ready to list it for sale.
I think pretty much every Monday I was like, OK, this is it, time to clean up your act, Ginny! No meat/sugar/carbs/booze/shopping/being-a-lazy-bum! It didn’t work very well. I’ve been so out of my routine and I’ve had zero willpower. And now I feel like crap, shockingly. I just want to spend the day in bed with a box of donuts and a pitcher of mimosas and be cranky.
Don’t worry, I’m not that pathetic. I do generally lean towards giving myself a break, but I’ve let my discipline get away from me and I’ve reverted back to my lazy ass ways. It’s absolutely imperative that I GET BACK ON TRACK. Like, today.
But how? How to motivate?
- Handstand: MIXED. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve made at least a slight effort to do planks with my feet up on the sofa, so I’m putting a lot more stress on my wrists and shoulders to strengthen them.
- Debt: MIXED. I paid off another credit card and made a big dent in another, which should be paid off in June. That will leave just one more credit card, and then we can take the personal loan. We spent a lot on our trip to Asheville, but we had that already set aside. We spent too much on going out to eat though. The good news is that we’re being more conscious about it now and haven’t been out in over a week.
- Being anal: I’ve been thinking about this. I think I’ve been doing a better job, but it might be coming more from an I-don’t-care place than any kind of self-improvement place.
- Half-marathon: Since this was done last month, I can check it off the list!
- Downsize: SUCCESS. We made an offer on a couple of condos but they weren’t accepted. We’ve decided to go ahead and put our house on the market, which should be done today (!!!), and rent an apartment for awhile while the market chills out. We are going to start looking at mountain cabins too 🙂
- Meditate: FAIL.
- Booze: FAIL.
- Counseling: Not currently a priority.
- Writing: FAIL. I haven’t been writing much at all. I haven’t had much inspiration. I keep trying to find a focus for this blog but I can’t commit to just writing about one topic. I’m thinking of taking a blogging class.
- Eating: FAIL FAIL FAIL. I have been hopeless here. I have eaten so much junk. I started the month committing to not eating meat, but that didn’t last, because then I started to do low carb, but then that didn’t last, so then I tried to make a bunch of in-between rules, but that totally didn’t work. The travel, the holiday, the being at my parents’ – none of these things were the reason, but they all contributed to me just being off my game.
- Minimalism: See #5.
- Empathy: SUCCESS, overall. I was a pretty good caretaker for my mother, which is not my natural way. I also sucked it up at work and did a decent job at least acting like I cared and trying really hard to understand other people’s perspectives.
- Volunteering: FAIL. I wanted to do something this weekend, but the husband pointed out that we need to be at home in case someone wants to see the house (we have to pack up the dogs and get out of here). I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time with this one, honestly. I’ve gotten so selfish with my time, I suppose 😦
- Travel: SUCCESS. We had a fun and busy time in Asheville, and I feel like we really got our $$$ worth.
- Job: SUCCESS. I had several (ugh) interviews for a new job. This process has been going on since the end of March. The latest is that the hiring manager wants me, but I’m “too expensive.” She’s interviewing other people so she can say she did her due diligence. I have mixed feelings. I’m still not sure it’s a job I really want, but it would really get me out of my comfort zone.
Well, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for listening to my whiny ass! Time to put on my running shoes and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
What are your motivation tricks? Are you motivated by Big Scary Goals? And have you ever taken a blogging course and can recommend a good one?