On Fear

I didn’t make this a resolution, but I want to do one (at least one) thing every month that scares me. Last month, I spoke on an industry panel, which was terrifying because 1) I hate public speaking, 2) I hate being the center of attention, and 3), it was in front of my peers. This month, I’m taking dance lessons with my husband. This freaks me out because 1) I am a horrible dancer, 2) I am worried my husband and I will argue over everything, and 3) I don’t like to call any attention to myself (did I mention that already?).

We had our first class last night, and it turns out I have nothing to fear at all!

It went by quickly, and we learned the steps to the swing and the rumba. We definitely aren’t naturals, but we had fun and enjoyed our teacher and most importantly, totally bonded over the whole thing. We were both so nervous for different reasons. It was a relief to find that it was mostly just fun. The best part was how fun it was to interact with our teacher as a couple, and to be learning something together. I’ve never considered that we usually do challenging things on our own — it was awesome having a partner for this one.

We have another private lesson, a group class, and a party (dance party, woo hoo!) as part of our beginners’ package. I don’t know that we’ll do much more besides that, but I know we’ll both appreciate knowing a few steps so we don’t embarrass ourselves in the future. And I’m actually kind of looking forward to practicing this weekend.

At the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, we found out yesterday that my uncle, my mom’s little brother, has a brain tumor and will be having surgery tomorrow. His tumor is in the meniges (the brain lining), so the surgery won’t be as invasive as it could be, but it’s still BRAIN SURGERY. He’s such a good man, a great father and grandfather and husband. His faith is so so strong, which my mom said is helping him tremendously. My heart is with my aunt and cousins and their families; I can’t imagine how scared of losing him they all are. I write this not for sympathy (but prayers are welcome!), but just a reminder that life is crazy and everything can change in a second. It’s a reminder to do good and be good and to have fun and make your life as full of joy as possible. It’s always important to plan for the future, but living and being in the moment is just as big.

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