12. Practice empathy, be more compassionate and stop being so judgy.
This will be a resolution for the rest of my life. I am constantly reminding myself that no one is here to meet my expectations. Even if I can’t understand someone’s motivations, I need to remain aware that they are most likely different from my own, and that doesn’t mean they’re bad or less important.
I have no idea why I feel the way I feel when someone does things that are unhealthy, or bad for their career. It really doesn’t affect me at all. I can’t even totally explain how it is that I feel. Definitely uncomfortable. Definitely none of my business! I think it comes from a good place; I want to help my friends/family/coworkers succeed, and I’ve made some really positive and difficult changes in my own life. So I must be an expert, right??? Hah.
I’m working hard to just be supportive and to just listen. I recently learned my habit of trying to help someone to look on the bright side is super obnoxious. Really what most people would prefer is that I just agree with them that something sucks. This is completely unnatural to me, but I’m working hard to change it. My mother, my husband and my coworkers have all talked to me about it, so I’m obviously not coming across the way I intend. I’ve been trying to be much more conscious of this, and when someone needs to complain about something, instead of telling them about all the good things in their lives or trying to explain why someone might have said or done what they did to that person, I’m just saying I’m sorry. I think that’s being empathetic? I hope it is?
I am probably a horrible motivator, and for now, that’s ok. I can motivate myself, and I can use that motivation to become more empathetic, to be a better listener, and to understand more about other people’s motivations. Work in progress, for sure.