3. Be less anal.
This one, maybe more than the others, is kind of stumping me. I’m not sure how to change this, or how much I want to. I wasn’t always like this, I swear! I think it came from a need for more (any) control.
Because I am lazy at heart, I am obsessed with efficiency. The sooner I can get something done, the sooner I can get around to doing nothing! This is how it started, at least. These days, it has become more the sooner I can get something done, the sooner I can get around to getting the next something done. I also really like to be on time, and being efficient helps with that. So does being anal. They go hand-in-hand.
I’m beginning to learn, however, that I can try to plan out everything to the last detail, but nothing’s ever going to go that smoothly. There will always be a hitch, if not several. I worked SO hard to have our recent beach trip be perfect, but in spite of all that work: we were late; my sister’s family was in a hit-and-run accident on the way there; the house wasn’t properly cleaned; three people had the flu; it rained for two days straight; my stepkids couldn’t get all the time off from work; the hot tub was broken; etc. This meant I was anxious and slightly miserable for a good portion of the week. What a waste of my time! It was also interesting to see how much more fun my husband’s family had in comparison with my family. My husband’s children are pretty laid back, while my family is slightly neurotic (and anal) like me.
So, in 2015, I’d like to go with the flow a little bit more. I’d like to let things go more often. I’d like to accept that there’s not much I can do to change people, and that shit always happens. No one is here to meet my expectations. That will be my mantra, at home and at work.
What will I do differently this year?
Meditate. Learn mindfulness. Be in the moment.
Stop planning everything. I get really nuts about traveling, as I want to try to cram in as much as possible in the time we have in a new place. This absolutely lessens my enjoyment of said place. While we won’t be traveling as much as we did last year, we plan on taking “better” trips. I will do my best to not fill every moment, and even to not plan much other than flights and hotels before we get there. *Gulp*
Be more empathetic. This especially goes at work. I can’t (and shouldn’t) try to get my team to work the same way I do. I can’t have the same expectations for them I do for myself.
Surprisingly, there is very little advice to be found on the internet for becoming less anal-rententive (though much is out there for making butt sex hurt less, haha). I wonder if this means it’s not really seen as a negative trait? “Relationship advice forums, online and off, heave with complaints from neatness lovers about living with “slobs”, though less of the reverse, since untidy types don’t tend to find tidiness galling in itself.”
But when I Google “how to be less controlling,” there are plenty of articles. I guess I will need to approach it from that angle.